400!!!!

And it couldn't have come at a better time.

Had an awesome time last night with some of the boys at Gab's memorial. Really fun hanging out with Convo, Losman, Arjay, Balma, Nikko, Mark, Aids, Tin and John. And Gab of course. Can't believe they actually found what I wrote for Gab and made me read it. That was sorta kinda embarrassing. But also kinda cool, haha. Wish the others were there too. It's always good when we get the A-Boys together.

Today naman, I indulged myself. Haha. I played L4D. Convo and I tried a new map. Then we went to Chili Willy's and met up with Cai, Kari, Gela and Ria (John arrived a little later). Great food! I liked my orders. The waiter was kinda snooty though. Nora should punish him. I will see you all again on Saturday!

Next up, I had Com. Except for one minor incident (a really mataray one), I had loads of fun practicing for our live TV show. There was also that other thing I did. NICE. Hahaha.

Then it was time to go home. Or so I thought. Ran into Mara Eala. Finally found Iya. Ras found us next. And then I left them with Doms to get the new altis from the high school. (It's over a year old but I still call it the new altis. Haha.) Doms' phone hates her. Haha. She was too busWe were supposed to just get takeout from Flaming Wings but we all decided to eat there instead. We all got the tenders meal and Iya and I got Wicked Oreos. Really good! The drive home was fun. Iya and I just kept on talking because the other two were fast asleep. Haha! I love it when people fall asleep whilst I'm driving. Means I'm driving well. Ras even said it was a comfy ride! Awesome. Then I dropped Iya off at Malunggay street. Haha, nice one Iya. You owe me kuwento.

To top off my day, Carlo Mikhail R. Convocar provided me with the greatest thing ever. HE GOT ME MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG!!!!!! I was literally jumping up and down after he called. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!

A really, really, really awesome day. Thank you to everyone. :)

400. 400 posts. I feel blessed. Haha.

Because You Lived

"The board is set. The pieces are moving."

"The deep breath before the plunge."

"For Frodo."

"I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."

Stop.

Stop right there.

Well? I'm waiting. You've got the next line bro. I can't quote LotR all by myself...



...One year later, it still does not make sense.

* * *

I remember Arjay texting me in the middle of 24. I remember talking to him on the phone minutes later. Balma next. The Y!M conference. The truth.

I remember the funeral parlor. I remember being together again for the first time in years. I remember how bittersweet that moment was.

And I remember the pain.

* * *

I'm sorry we figured it out too late. I'm sorry we weren't there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry it took your passing to realize how special you were. I'm sorry you weren't here to enjoy it. I'm sorry we made you think that no one cared.

The proof was in those next few days. Did you see it? Could you believe it? We celebrated you like the hero you were. Everyone, everywhere came to pay their respects. That was your moment bro. I hope you saw it from up there. Because man, you were like a rockstar. Did you see it? Your life, YOUR LIFE and not your death led to that moment. Because if you're life did not matter, no one would have been there. No one would've cried. No one would've signed on those boards. And I wouldn't be here reminding everyone of you.

We should not forget that the reason we care and we remember is not because he died, but because he lived. Because he lived his life to the fullest. Because he reached for everything and anything he could dream up with that signature GabbyD charm and passion. Because he'd stare down the most insane, most difficult of challenges and say, "Fuck it, let's do this." Because he'd danc the night away when no one else could even work up the courage to get on the floor. Gabriel Martin Doller, for everything that he was, was first and foremost, the definition of awesome. Teh awesome. Every single time, he left you in awe of his ability and skill, and because of his heart and kindness. Shameless, shirtless and superlative. A truly honorable man. That's how he rolled. And that's what I'll remember. That's what we'll all remember. And well, the bow ties too.

I am thankful for becoming close to you, privileged to call you my classmate and honored to call you my friend. Excuse me, my mellon. Continue to watch over us and look after us. And I hope you're at peace.

Forever fornever.

The First Mock Draft Result I've Liked

1. Danny Granger (Ind - SG,SF)
My man, my no. 1 pick, EVERY SINGLE TIME. No questions asked. He'll give me 3's, scoring, free throws, blocks and maybe steals. Hope he raises his overall FG% and lessens his TO's though. 24 and 6, ots of 3's and a block a game too.
2. Caron Butler (Was - SG,SF)
I like Butler. Thinking the return of Arenas will rejuvenate the Wiz. 18-6-4 with 3's/steals/blocks = 3?
3. Jason Kidd (Dal - PG)
If he stays healthy, I think he'll continue to contribute even if he is one of the oldest in the league.
4. Mehmet Okur (Uta - PF,C)
Threes from the Center spot? That's always a plus. Occasional double-double and other big man stats are welcome too.
5. Jeff Green (OKC - SF,PF)
Will make The Leap alongside KD35. He'll get the hustle stats and we'll provide in every category. Durant will get the accolades but Green will do everything too.
6. Hedo Turkoglu (Tor - SG,SF)
Playing with another young big in CB4. He'll still get his open looks and contribute right away to the Raps. Should be
7. Boris Diaw (Cha - SF,PF)
Please don't get fat. Please continue to give your Fantasy owners 3's, assists, boards, blocks, steals and scoring.
8. Brad Miller (Chi - C)
If he can give you a 3 every two or 3 games, 7-8 rebounds, 4 assists and 12-14 points, Brad Miller will still be worth getting. Playing with Derrick Rose is a good thing.
9. Raymond Felton (Cha - PG,SG)
First of all, I just hope he signs with someone in the NBA. Guy can play. Assists (7), points (14-16, occasional 20-point outburst), steals and 3's are what you get with Ray Felton.
10. Rodney Stuckey (Det - PG,SG)
He's got the starting lead guard spot on-lock. Make us all proud.
11. Ronnie Brewer (Uta - SG,SF)
Utility guy. Glue guy. Do everything guy. Perfect running mate for Deron Williams (I want him too) and a solid defender.
12. Kendrick Perkins (Bos - C)
It's all about the Blocks.
13. Mickael Pietrus (Orl - SG,SF)
With Rashard out for the first 10 games and VC still getting used to playing with Superman, Pietrus is going to kill it.

I already wish this was my team. It's solid enough I think. Lots of 3's, good PG's and scoring. Steals and blocks are covered too. I'd like another Center with range though (Troy Murphy, I'm going to get you). And I don't know if I can get used to a team where I don't add/drop players every day. Oh well. Haha.

Things I Want to Yell Out Loud

Over the years, the multitude of stories I've watched and read have provided me (provode?) with countless awesome moments. The kind of moments I look back on and just fall in love with. They're so striking and powerful, the image or sequence seared forever in my mind. Just powerful, iconic stuff...And they also always have these cool one-liners that I so totally want to yell out in real life without looking like an idiot.

1. "Avengers assemble!"

2. "Transform and roll out!"

3. Big time superhero coming through!"

Those are the top three. What say you? Can I get away with it?

For You

You know that sweet and delicious Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream I love you so much? I will not touch another carton of Ben & Jerry's ever again for you.

You know all those Tweets I have? I'd have my account deleted for you.

You know all those comicbooks I own? I'd rip'em all apart for you.

You know all those television programs I watch? I'd watch not a single second more for you.

You know those M&M's I love? I'd completely give up chocolate for you.

You know those really awesome Twister Fries from McDonald's? Never touching another piece for you.

You know all those movies I big-up, pimp and hype? Say the word and I'm not catching another movie for the rest of my life for you.

Do you understand? Do you get it? I'd give them all up. Each and every single one of those things I love and adore and CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT, I would give up in a heartbeat. Cold turkey'em. For the rest of my life. For you. FOR YOU. That's how I feel about you.

Everybody's Girl

A Hole In The World. Never has there been a title more apt for an episode of a television series. Because that's what it felt like after Fred died. That's exactly how it felt.

And poor Wesley...can you imagine getting the girl of your dreams and then losing here almost instantly? This was not some silly little plot twist imposed by the writers on two characters who had no business being together in the first place. This was Fred and Wes. This was a damn bomb on one of the greatest love stories you'll ever see on television. For almost three seasons, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce had been pining for this girl. And once he finally had her, once she finally saw him in the same way he saw her, she died and was replaced by an angry demon demigod.

Say what you want about the tragedy of Angel and Buffy or Spike and Buffy or Tara and Willow, this is the one you will always hate Joss Whedon a little for. Because Fred and Wes were the two characters that were destined to be together forever. And that's a testament to Joss, David Greenwalt, Drew Goddard and the rest of the Angel writers, Alexis Denisof and Amy Acker for creating such a compelling, powerful and real love story with those two characters.

You see in the episode that once Fred goes down, everyone shifts into a higher gear and focuses even harder. This is their apocalypse. This is their girl who is on the brink of certain doom. This was Winifred Burkle, dying. Everyone feels it when it happens to Fred. That's how beloved she was.

One of the best episodes ever, is definitely the saddest. Goodbye Fred.

Comicbooks Make Me Smile

Wow. My wallet is much lighter now, haha. So worth it though!

Comicbooks cost a lot, true. But as I've said time and time again, nothing beats a good read. When the imagery and the words manage to marry so perfectly together, that's magic right there, and it can leave a lasting impact on the reader. The image will stay with you for a long time and it helps to have something great to remember when times are tough. And that's why I love comicbooks.

This week's haul was bigger than usual and going through all of them would take too much time but rest assured, there were so many awesome moments that brought a smile to my face. Incredible Hercules really made me laugh, Guardians mixed everything so well, Nova was awesome as usual...They're good books you know?

Here's to the books, the industry and the creators. The fans appreciate everything, clones and costume redesigns, nonwithstanding.

Why Wesley Wyndam-Pryce is the Man.

Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen?
Wesley: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy! That guy is charming and funny and...emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley: Get over it!
Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley: Because! Angel, if there's a woman out there, who you find truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, and who doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on, you have to do something about it.

Nice. This was already a great exchange between two best friends. Wesley's part at the end though steals the show. Smile Time = Greatest episode ever.

RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE

I WILL RESIST ALL URGES TO DO THINGS I WOULD NORMALLY DO BUT THIS TIME AROUND I WON'T BECAUSE IT WOULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO MY CAUSE.

AMEN.

Why I Fight

Can't we get World War 3 started already? I'm signing up right away.

The horrors of war be damned. I am speaking out of my ass right now. Don't care. I'd go into the war ready to die. I'd go into the war willing to die. As long as it's for a good cause right? As long as I'm on the side of angels, as long as I'm fighting for something truly special and good right?

It's so simple. It's so simple, the notion of two sides fighting each other because they're complete opposites. Good versus evil. That's it. Nothing else. So elegantly simple. I'd jump at that chance.

Because I need a reason as to why I haven't found my purpose in life yet.

The Bad Guy

It takes a special kind of person to become the bad guy, the villain of your own life.

Hi, my name is Jeri. I used to think, "I'm the hero of this story." Now? I think I'm on the opposite side. :|

What the hell is wrong with me all of a sudden??

I Know What I Want For My Birthday

So far, I've come up with two things I kinda sorta want for my 21st birthday (coming soon!).

The first? I want to have a movie marathon. Specifically, 80's movies, my all-time favorite era for movies. All the movies I saw on HBO as a kid were mostly from the 80's. Stuff that my friends have never even heard of. The Thing. The Blob remake. The two Ewoks movies. Fright Night 1 and 2. Gremlins 1 and 2. And that's just the tip of this iceberg (I haven't even mentioned the classics yet). There are a lot of movies from that time that I haven't seen yet though. Red Dawn, The Breakfast Club, Footlose, etc. I kinda want to seem them before I get too old. Let's see if I can do this.

The second thing I want is kinda lame. Kinda gay even. It involves some of my closest friends and well, okay, I want to go around the school with Arjay and some of the other A-Boys. Like, just walk around the campus, talking and reminiscing and telling stories. Why? Because I want to experience it again, being part of a group -- Not that I'm a social outcast or something. It's just that, over the past few years, I've spend a lot of my free time in Ateneo by myself. I think it'd be fun if I got to go around the block with the guys for once.

Wow this was a lame entry haha. That's enough for now. Toodles!

I Really Hate Cockroaches

There was a cockroach behind the computer's system unit. Yes, less than a foot away from me. Horrible little thing. I smashed it but it didn't die so it just lay their on top of the box, leaking roach goo. And my wonderfully helpful little brother caused it to fall on my iPod. Awesome-er. Ugh.

To top it all of, I hate my life. Bow.

Oh well.

So. Yeah.

Damn I feel bad.

Failure

Damn it. I feel so bad about what happened.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be friends. Not this.

The worst part? I totally could've put my foot down and said "No, I am not a part of this." But no. No. I didn't. I didn't.

I've just failed as a good person...

Sorry, I left this for a few minutes to go find a real good person's journal. I failed you too my friend.

Shame

So this is how it feels to destroy something you really love. This is how you die a little inside.

I do not know how I can ever say those words I'm so fond of saying again. Because I do not have any right to do so, after today.

I couldn't stand up for what I believed in. I couldn't. I just couldn't. And now I'm going to pay the price.

It's true. I am one of the bad guys.

Hope

As in, do not lose...

Okay?

It ain't over yet. Haha.

It Ain't A Thing

When a boy likes a girl, well, isn't that the cutest thing?

It's not a problem, it's not a dilemma. It's admitting to the world that there's a person out there that makes him want to live. Basically, the girl gives him a reason, purpose. That in a world that rarely ever makes sense, there is something he can look forward to. How can that be anything else but beautiful? Could he keep that to himself? I don't think he could. So he should try to tell her. Because from that point on, the only thing he's really doing, is telling the world that he likes her. Everything, every single thing he does is just another way of saying he likes her.

So girls listen. Listen good. Because if a boy likes you, he's telling you. Don't believe otherwise. Because there is nothing more important to him than you.

It's Been That Kinda Week

Actually. It's been over a week. It's been going on for too long. And I don't think there's a pretty way out.

Yeah, story of my life.