It's easy. Too easy. Yes, there is trepidation and hesitation. Sometimes even, I wuss out. More often though, I don't. I generate a reason. I call it character development even. When I feel even more bad about what I'm about to do, I call it 'creating drama.' That's how I do it. That's how I do something wrong. That's how I become the villain of the story.
It's scary. It's very scary. I'm supposed to be the hero of my own story. Brave and courageous. Noble and generous. Kind and caring. I'm the guy. That guy. THE guy. I'm supposed to be Spider-Man. Or Nova. Or Green Lantern. It's why I read superhero comics. They inspire me. It's what I want to become. But I can't. Because I won't.
It's a joke. Not a very funny joke either. The past few years, that joke's been put to rest. Comicbooks, superhero comicbooks are not for nerds or dorks or geeks or the comicbook guy on The Simpsons. Not anymore. Comics aren't a joke anymore. You can make money off'em. You can look cool with'em. Somehow, I'm stuck in the past, without a Delorean in sight.
The thing is, heroism's greatest foe is not an alien despot or insane murderer. It's failure. It's when you shoot and miss, and stop. When you wallow in self-pity. When you curse the world. When you stop believing in yourself. When you start blaming everyone but yourself. When you don't man up and admit that you failed and try to start over again. When heroes lose, they go out and do the next thing. They do not quit, the shouldn't quit. Villains are born from quitters. Villains are born from those who do not take responsibility on their actions. Because it's them who hate the world. It's them who will do anything to get ahead. And it's so easy to become one. All we have to do is to justify the wrong actions and rationalize the wrong beliefs. It's that easy. It's too easy.
It's scary. It's very scary. I'm supposed to be the hero of my own story. Brave and courageous. Noble and generous. Kind and caring. I'm the guy. That guy. THE guy. I'm supposed to be Spider-Man. Or Nova. Or Green Lantern. It's why I read superhero comics. They inspire me. It's what I want to become. But I can't. Because I won't.
It's a joke. Not a very funny joke either. The past few years, that joke's been put to rest. Comicbooks, superhero comicbooks are not for nerds or dorks or geeks or the comicbook guy on The Simpsons. Not anymore. Comics aren't a joke anymore. You can make money off'em. You can look cool with'em. Somehow, I'm stuck in the past, without a Delorean in sight.
The thing is, heroism's greatest foe is not an alien despot or insane murderer. It's failure. It's when you shoot and miss, and stop. When you wallow in self-pity. When you curse the world. When you stop believing in yourself. When you start blaming everyone but yourself. When you don't man up and admit that you failed and try to start over again. When heroes lose, they go out and do the next thing. They do not quit, the shouldn't quit. Villains are born from quitters. Villains are born from those who do not take responsibility on their actions. Because it's them who hate the world. It's them who will do anything to get ahead. And it's so easy to become one. All we have to do is to justify the wrong actions and rationalize the wrong beliefs. It's that easy. It's too easy.
No comments:
Post a Comment