Fuck it.

2010 NBA Playoffs X-Factors - East

Eastern Conference:

1. Cleveland Cavaliers - Mike Brown

Mo Williams needs to show and prove. (Duh.)

Antawn Jamison needs to bring the balance.

Shaq needs hold it down inside. (Gigantic duh.)

But for the Cavs to win it all? It all comes down to Mike Brown. He needs to realize that Bron in the post is better than Bron on the wing. He needs to realize that putting Delonte West or Wally Sexyback on Rashard Lewis is a bad idea. He needs to figure out that if they lose and Bron bolts, his job is on the line.

2. Orlando Magic - Rashard Lewis

Hedo Turkoglu is gone. Thankfully, Rashard Lewis is still around. Lew hit a lot of BIG shots last year for the Magic and this year, he'll have to take even more. Jameer Nelson also gets his first real taste of battling it out in the playoffs since he missed most of last year's run. It's on him to get the offense going because the defense was set the moment Dwight puts on his uniform.

3. Atlanta Hawks - Mike Bibby

Recapturing the '02 form is not what Bibby needs to do. He has to prove that the PG spot in the last five minutes belongs to him, not Jamal Crawford. No disrespect to Crawford, but Bibby is a more stable presence. Champions need that from their point guards and if Bibby can raise his game just a little, it'll go a long way for the Hawks.

4. Boston Celtics - Kendrick Perkins

We get it. Paul Peirce, Kevin Garnett Ray Allen are old. Rasheed Wallace is insane. Kendrick Perkins, Rajon Rondo and Glen Davis are not. Well, mostly just the "old" part. Perk (and Davis) need to step it up when Garnett and Wallace can't. Containing Dwight and protecting the paint from LeBron and Dwyane Wade? That might be too much for them to handle but if KG can't do it, they have to.

5. Miami Heat - Quentin Richardson

Dwyane Wade needs a sidekick. Someone who can hit 3's and just generally make good plays when Wade gives up the rock. Q can board, shoot and hustle. The Robin to his Batman? More like Alfred. But a few 3's here and there to go with some man-sized rebounds in traffic will let Wade relax just a little knowing that there's actually someone on the roster who can help him out.

6. Milwaukee Bucks - Brandon Jennings

The rook needs to show that his 55-point game was no fluke. The rook needs to play like a vet. The playoffs are about big time performances and now is definitely the time for B-Jennings to take center stage.

7. Charlotte Bobcats - Stephen Jackson

Stephen Jackson is playing hurt but what else is new? Frustrating Orlando is the best he can do and he can do that by shutting down Rashard Lewis and abusing Vince Carter on offense. If Gerald Wallace can keep the game close, Captain Jack just might make some noise.

8. Chicago Bulls - Luol Deng

Remember when we thought giving up Deng for Kobe was stupid? For Chicago? Yeah, me neither. Luol is going up against the King and if Derrick Rose and the rest of the Bulls are going to score the upset, Luol Deng needs to step up.

How To Kill A Cockroach

Here's my step-by-step survival guide:

1. Not on a rug (it'll get all the roach goo on it after you squish it).
2. Not in the shower stall...
3. Do not squeal if when you try to step on it, it crawls all over your foot.
4. If it's on its back, STEP ON IT QUICK!...
5. If you step on it, and it turns over so you see its belly and there's no goo coming out of it, STEP ON IT AGAIN IT ISN'T DEAD YET!!!!!!
Because 6. It will totally put a monster-movie move on you and play dead then spring back up on its feet and get back at you!

Hopefully, this is helpful. Also?

I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE ROACHES.