Weekend Food

I eat a lot. I eat a lot (it bears repeating). This weekend was no exception. Here are some of the things I had over the past two days (after the jump):

The Ten Commandments of Fast Food Customers

Beholdeth, yon temple of the quickened feast, thy palace of immediate sustenance! Glory be to thy refuge, where a man or woman might partake of a meal without having to slaughter the fattened calf nor baketh the bread as others have already done so for thee! It is the miracle of fast food, and I tell you it is good.

Thusly, thine patrons of the golden grill and fountain of soda, I pass on to you a list of rulings you and I must obey. The Fast Food requires are respect and consideration. We mustn't foolishly and irreverently act within its confines, nay, we stand above such shenanigans. Listen now, for I speak truest for you! Follow these commandments that we might forever be blessed. *Blech* Sorry, something got stuck in the wrong pipe for a moment there. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Ten Commandments for eating fast food. Sounds simple enough, yeah? Let's get to it.

Jollibee Amazing Aloha: A Sandwich's Plea

It's in my name, I'm amazing!

Dear Unsatisfied Customer,

I'm going to get straight to the point. We have a problem: why won't you eat me? :( Many others have already, so why won't you? I can assure you, there is nothing wrong with me. What about me do you not find appealing? I hope you and I can come to understanding. I'm just a hardworking burger trying to get you to sample me. I know if you do, you'll be singing a different tune.